_by [RA Dater][3]_
Each day is a supreme challenge for those of us with RA…shall we add dating on top of that? It can be brutal – and remember that stress is our kryptonite. I've been divorced for almost a year, diagnosed with RA for almost two years – and I can tell you girls that love IS out there.
My advice for first dates:
**Don't be afraid to mention you have RA.**
Perhaps not in the first five minutes…but I am a strong believer in laying all cards on the table on the first date (unless it's a brief encounter!) There is always a chance to bring it up casually – I have been horrible about going on and on about RA because men just let me talk…and talk…. I would suggest a couple of sentences about RA and then change the subject, order another drink or appetizer.
**Be upfront about your physical challenges.**
I am lucky in that I don't depend on a wheelchair yet, but I feel like HELL the day after my Enbrel shot, and it is difficult to open doors. I had to face the fact that the cute 40-year old workaholic who looked awesome in those pictures fishing at the lake would…..eh, eventually ask me to get up at 5am to go fishing.
**Prepare yourself for questions if you are not working due to RA.**
I am a CPA. This has been the worst dating roadblock for me….why am I not working? What could I possibly do all day…watch soap operas? Not that any man ever said that to me – I just inflicted the question upon myself. Be prepared to discuss what you do and don't be afraid to just say "I am retired."
**Sex.**
Takes all the pain away, trust me on this one. Kidding – there are so many positions I can't even begin to attempt. I like to date older men for this reason, but if you find yourself in love/lust with someone who wants to try every position in the book, you will need Biofreeze and strong pain meds!
Want to read more stuff written by RA Dater? [Check out Confessions of a RA Dater and her others musings here.][3]
_Interested in becoming a writer for rachicks.com? We are looking for volunteers to keep the knowledge going to all our members. Interested individuals can email Niki at ra.chicks@yahoo.com_
[1]: http://rachicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/radatercoffeewoman-150x150.jpg (dating with rheumatoid arthritis)
[2]: http://rachicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/radatercoffeewoman.jpg
[3]: http://rachicks.com/lifestyle/ra-dating/confessions-of-a-ra-dater/
URL: http://rachicks.com/ra-dating-with-rheumatoid-arthritis/
No comments:
Post a Comment